I have loved this year of getting close with Melinda again, as we had a strong friendship about 10 years ago and grew apart with me going to college and LIFE. She is a woman with a strong heart that has shown me that love is more than what I was taught and how I was raised. I'm proud to say that my mind is more open than ever in learning the difference in our thought processes, and this needs to be stated for many folks that may have wondering questions when it comes to same sex relationships.
Myself and Melinda were both kind of rebels at heart as younger versions of ourselves, which is probably why we got along so well. Some of those qualities are still true to today, as we are both hard working, independent women in our late 20's and now 30 (she's gonna hate me for that). And as most young folks we made some decisions in life that we look back on and think 'what the hell was I thinking'......like tattoos (we won't bring up name tattoos or the matching tattoo I got with not so great 'friends'), going out......and getting married on a wim........... (cough cough), all the while learning WHO we are as individuals.
Can you answer that question....who are you?
What defines you?
Does sexuality define a person? I don't think it should. Now with that being said, that is NOT how I was raised to believe. I grew up in a very old fashioned, closed minded, stricter southern home. And in growing up and making my own decisions on how I view things and people in life I wish I was raised to be more open minded. I shouldn't have spent my high school years and late teens thinking gay was WRONG or BAD, along with many other things. Going to college and meeting more open minded people really allowed me to view love as not just a man and a woman, but left many many questions that I was afraid to ask. Being with a woman is not my personal preference, but I don't hold that choice again Melinda, her happiness is most important in my book. And who she loves shouldn't matter the gender or color of their skin just because it is not MY preference.
I have asked Melinda why this is her choice.....and I LOVE her response that she tells many people.
"I love someone for their heart not their parts."
Sit and think about that for a moment, shouldn't we all love someone for their heart prior to anything else....
And I love LOVE, I live for wedding days and capturing happiness in couples, love stories which happens between two men, two women, and a man and woman. LOVE IS LOVE!!
My next question was probably a stupid question and I was on the fence about sharing it, BUT I'm sure a lot of people want to ask this: If you like girls why do you date girls that look like boys? (wasn't being mean, but I really wanted to know)
"Because men are men. As a lesbian, I'm attracted to the parts and mind of a woman.I have a very hard time connecting on an emotional level with men. I can have friends that are dudes, but the truly falling in love with a man was tough, even though I thought I had a few times... Now that I am 100% comfortable with who I am, I realized, I just don't relate to men in the same way. We don't "click." Another way to look at it -
It's just a sexual preference, much like the way that some straight women prefer biker guys, or the way that some straight men prefer athletic women.
It's just a sexual preference, much like the way that some straight women prefer biker guys, or the way that some straight men prefer athletic women.
My sexual preference should affect someone no more than if you order ham and pineapple on your pizza and I like ham and mushrooms - if you aren't sharing that Pizza with me - than why do you care?"
I have to give mad props where it is due. And it makes my heart so happy that Melinda is raising her children in an open minded world. She is very honest with them with her thoughts and feelings. WE do live in a small town where many pass quick judgement, and it's NOT FAIR.
"I actually do not want my children to be gay - it isn't an easy road to travel and there will always be someone there to tell them they are wrong or they shouldn't feel that way... but I want them to be honest with themselves, no matter how they feel. Not just with their sexuality but who THEY are as a person. If they want to cover themselves in tattoos and then go to medical school, that is ok fine. If they want to run off to LA to chase dreams of being an actress, that is fine too... I will always always support my children in whatever and whoever they choose to be"
So to my parents, SHAME on you for embedding that such things were wrong. I'm glad I have rose above your teaching on me as a young Crystal.
Now scroll back to the top and tell me what you see in that image....
I see happiness, laughter, and love in which that image makes me smile, because I feel the happiness between those two people. It's not just an image it's a real moment captured......
For the rest of my life I want to see this world more open to LOVE in general. Be happy for you! And allow others to be happy for themselves as well. Stop passing judgement because there are questions that are unknown.
A family with open minded children
Love looks good on you!
Your happiness matters!!!
Keep walking to your future......because it's bright!
LOVE IS LOVE!!!
