In the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 I lost all of my self confidence between my mother asking me to stay out her life and in the midst of a man that was abusive towards me mentally and physically I lost ME and my voice to speak up for ME. After the fact that my mother, that had been my rock my whole life, asked me to stay out of her life I became very down in myself, but I hid it well. Except one person got to see that hurt, and that was with someone I was in a relationship with at the time. Shortly after this he became physically abusive and more mentally abusive towards me, I had no one to turn to so I stayed and thought at this moment in my life 'it was me bringing hurt on myself, and maybe I deserved this.' Things then got worse, and I stopped giving myself me time, started wearing more comfortable clothes rather than something that looked nice. I wore my hair up a lot, I didn't care. I hated looking in the mirror, so I didn't. I stopped working out, and self confidence went right out the window. 2012 was the worst year and best year of my life. I almost lost my life due to physical abuse, and I could've one night if I didn't fight back. And in a life where you are called worthless amongst other things, you don't think things are worth fighting for, but in that moment I proved I still had some fight left in me. At this moment I didn't know if one night it would be worse, if I would see next week, next month, or next year. My best friend would call and check on me very often, because she knew what was going on 100% she kept me going, and she knew if she didn't hear from me she would be have to be one to fight for me, and SHE WOULD! I was scared, and that was hard to admit. I was scared of what would happen to me if I got authorities involved, so I didn't and I know now that was the wrong thing to do.
In finding my small bit of fight to get back to me, I got away. It was hard, but I had a lot of support from friends and even in one opening up her home to me and my animals as I waited to close on my now home, and I will ever be grateful for that kind of support.
Now I am an advocate to help women know what abuse is. Help them realize they are strong. Help them seek help. Be a shoulder to lean on. I will always be against women's abuse, and some don't even know its happening. We never want to think a man/ woman we love would hurt us, so we fall into the "I'm sorry's" and "It will never happen again." Guess what it does, and some aren't as lucky as I was to get away with just a few bumps, bruises, and broken property.
So why do I do this? I know what its like to have no cofidence and it to be lost 100%
I know what it's like to not have your mother's support, or both your parents for that matter. As my father was abusive to all of us growing up. And I never thought I would allow myself to be in that sort of relationship, but I did.
Stacy is an amazing woman and she lost her mom to cancer, and in that moment I like to feel have helped her find her smile and helped her find confidence in herself in a world where she doesn't have that rock. Isn't her smile just gorgeous?
In being a woman, we all come in shapes and sizes. We all are strong in our own way. We all have our own struggles. We are all emotional. We are all HARD on ourselves. We all think we are NOT PERFECT, and you know what I will be the one to say hey your beautiful just the way you are and I will SHOW ALL MY GIRLS just that!!! LOVE yourself!!!! LOVE your life!!! Find happiness in yourself!!! Ignore people telling us we need to be a size 2, and 125 lbs! OWN your curves ladies, because they are gorgeous! Own your inner diva! SMILE, because a smile is contagious, and it shows you have confidence!
LOVE who you are, because NO ONE can be YOU!!!!
Know your beautiful through all your battles!!