Tuesday, July 16, 2013

How and why I got into womens photography l Personal

I was once told, "A woman with self confidence can do anything." And I was told this weekend that I need to share how and why I am so passionate about women's photography and helping women see themselves as beautiful as I do through the lens. So it is time for me to open up about a hurtful past that helped me get to where I am as a strong confident business owner, and most of all happy within myself and my work.

In the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 I lost all of my self confidence between my mother asking me to stay out her life and in the midst of a man that was abusive towards me mentally and physically I lost ME and my voice to speak up for ME. After the fact that my mother, that had been my rock my whole life, asked me to stay out of her life I became very down in myself, but I hid it well. Except one person got to see that hurt, and that was with someone I was in a relationship with at the time. Shortly after this he became physically abusive and more mentally abusive towards me, I had no one to turn to so I stayed and thought at this moment in my life 'it was me bringing hurt on myself, and maybe I deserved this.' Things then got worse, and I stopped giving myself me time, started wearing more comfortable clothes rather than something that looked nice. I wore my hair up a lot, I didn't care. I hated looking in the mirror, so I didn't. I stopped working out, and self confidence went right out the window. 2012 was the worst year and best year of my life. I almost lost my life due to physical abuse, and I could've one night if I didn't fight back. And in a life where you are called worthless amongst other things, you don't think things are worth fighting for, but in that moment I proved I still had some fight left in me. At this moment I didn't know if one night it would be worse, if I would see next week, next month, or next year. My best friend would call and check on me very often, because she knew what was going on 100% she kept me going, and she knew if she didn't hear from me she would be have to be one to fight for me, and SHE WOULD! I was scared, and that was hard to admit. I was scared of what would happen to me if I got authorities involved, so I didn't and I know now that was the wrong thing to do.

In finding my small bit of fight to get back to me, I got away. It was hard, but I had a lot of support from friends and even in one opening up her home to me and my animals as I waited to close on my now home, and I will ever be grateful for that kind of support.

Now I am an advocate to help women know what abuse is. Help them realize they are strong. Help them seek help. Be a shoulder to lean on. I will always be against women's abuse, and some don't even know its happening. We never want to think a man/ woman we love would hurt us, so we fall into the "I'm sorry's" and "It will never happen again." Guess what it does, and some aren't as lucky as I was to get away with just a few bumps, bruises, and broken property.

So why do I do this? I know what its like to have no cofidence and it to be lost 100%


I know what it's like to not have your mother's support, or both your parents for that matter. As my father was abusive to all of us growing up. And I never thought I would allow myself to be in that sort of relationship, but I did.

Stacy is an amazing woman and she lost her mom to cancer, and in that moment I like to feel have helped her find her smile and helped her find confidence in herself in a world where she doesn't have that rock.  Isn't her smile just gorgeous?

In being a woman, we all come in shapes and sizes. We all are strong in our own way. We all have our own struggles. We are all emotional. We are all HARD on ourselves. We all think we are NOT PERFECT, and you know what I will be the one to say hey your beautiful just the way you are and I will SHOW ALL MY GIRLS just that!!! LOVE yourself!!!! LOVE your life!!! Find happiness in yourself!!! Ignore people telling us we need to be a size 2, and 125 lbs! OWN your curves ladies, because they are gorgeous!  Own your inner diva! SMILE, because a smile is contagious, and it shows you have confidence!


LOVE who you are, because NO ONE can be YOU!!!!

Know your beautiful through all your battles!!





Thank you ladies for allowing me gain my confidence back in myself and my work in helping y'all gain your confidence back as well.

11 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for sharing, Crystal, you are a remarkable woman! Thanks for making all women feel like they are worth the world. Much love, Emily Smith

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  2. YOU ARE AMAZING! GO YOU GIRL....YOU INSPIRE ME!

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    1. Me inspire you, I may just geek out a little bit over that comment. You rock my socks off Miss Kaitlin keep being AMAZING, and thank you so much!!

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  3. I have always enjoyed your work. I think you are a beautiful person, inside and out! It is a definite shame that there are so many women out there that go through these tough situations and feel they can sometimes never escape. I am one of those as well. It was a long journey but made me a stronger person. Congrats on getting your life back!!!

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    1. I am so sorry you had to go through something like this. Thank you so much for your sweet comment, I am still getting back to ME, but its a great feeling to smile for no reason, and just to be happy to be me! :) Hope all is well with you girlie!

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  4. The silver lining to an awful time in your life is that you've made something horrible into something beautiful. I've known you a long time and I never seen you as strong, independent, and beautiful as you are now. Thank you for being strong enough to tell your story to women who need to hear it. AND LOOK AT YOU NOW!:)

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    1. Ashley your an amazing woman and mother. I love seeing the gorgeous woman you have grown up to be and Conard should be so happy he gets to call you his mommy!!! :) Love you girl and we seriously need to get together soon!

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  5. Your words are as beautiful as your photography!! :') I, too, am one of those women and your words hit home and rang true for me more than you can ever know!! They always talk about the good that comes with the bad, and I am so sorry that all of that happened to you but you have really taken it and learned from it, empowered yourself, even more amazingly decided to empower others, and built upon it! I don't even know you personally, but I have followed your page for some time, and I think you AND your photography are incredibly amazing!!!!!! Keep climbing, I'm sure the view just keeps getting better! :)

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